


Nine Years Old

by FyreinFlair



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growing Up, Immortality, One Shot, Sad, The feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 09:06:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15385431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyreinFlair/pseuds/FyreinFlair
Summary: Alice comes to terms with what it means to grow up in her diary after they make it to Canada.Small post-game fic from Alice's POV.





	Nine Years Old

My name is Alice, and I am nine years old.

 

Kara says that keeping a journal will help me remember all of our adventures.  I told her I would remember them no matter what, and she said it would still be fun to read again later, like a bedtime story.

 

So here I go.

 

I used to live in a scary place, where everything felt too loud.  I loved my daddy, I could tell he wanted to love me too. But he became scary as well.  Soon, everything was scary, my toys, my room, and the dark. Kara made things not so scary, she brought me light.

 

One day it became so bad we had to run away.  We went to new places, where I found out the world could be just as scary as that little house. 

 

But we kept running, and no matter what we stuck together.  We found new friends, like uncle Jerrys, Luther, Rose, and more.  With every bad guy there was a new friend to help us in return. It was hard, but we stayed brave, and most of all, we stayed together. 

 

When we made it past the border, it felt like we had finally reached our happy end, but as we soon found out, it was only our beginning.

 

We can live normally again, like a family. 

 

I'm so happy to be a family.

 

***

 

It’s been a while now, I've been to school for about a year and it’s so fun to play with other kids and learn things I didn't know before. I learn math and science and read so many new books and stories I've never heard. 

 

It isn't always easy though.  Kara says I have to be careful not to get hurt, that scrapes look different on me.  I can't run too fast or play as hard as the other kids, and sometimes they laugh at me.  But it’s okay, I find other ways to have fun, and I'm not so alone. Some people are nice, I like to smile again.

 

Though sometimes it’s hard when someone wants to share food with you.  Abby brought cake for her birthday on Tuesday and was mad when I said I wasn't hungry.  I tried to eat it for her, but I had to spit it out when she wasn't looking. 

 

I wish I could taste the cake, everyone makes it seem like it is so nice, it makes people happy. 

 

I think my favorite flavor would be strawberry if I could taste.  It's pink and pretty and smells nice. I wonder if I can grow strawberries? Then I could bring some to school and people would like me! I'll go ask Kara.

 

***

 

Luther says we have to move.  We've stayed here too long and I don't look as old as the rest of my class.  I told him I wanted to see what the seventh grade was like, he said maybe someday, but not right now.  I was sad, but I understand they just want what is best for me. 

 

We're going to a place far away, though not across any borders this time. I'm going to miss my friends, but Kara says there will be plenty of new friends where we are going, though I will have to pretend to be younger again. 

 

It's hard but I understand.  At least we can play together and still smile.  

 

I like smiling.

 

***

 

I'm in the third grade for the fourth time. I've read every book on my class's shelf twice. Some kids will play with me, but a lot get mad because they think I'm too smart.  Kara says I should try not to stick out, that I should blend in, but it’s hard when you have the times tables memorized like the back of your hand. How do you slow down when you know the answer?

 

My new school offers piano lessons so I'm trying that now.  It’s nice to have something new. I'd like to learn harder things, like chemistry or computers or another language, but it’s hard to find someone to teach me without giving away who or what we are. 

 

We've begun to break down.  Luther has found spare parts and stuff for us, but I hear them talking and it’s harder to find parts for me.  They don't make people like me anymore.

 

I wish I could grow up to be big and strong like them.  I used to dream of being an artist or a cat doctor, but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to do that.

 

They say you can be anything you want to be when you grow up, but you have to be able to grow up for that to happen.

 

***

 

I've stopped going to school.  We've tried going to America again now that everything is settled, but there still isn't much they can do for me.

 

Android children are wrong, they say.  They can never have a full life, never age, never grow.  Kara shuts off the TV whenever they bring it up but I still hear it.  There aren't any more child androids in production. No more parts. No more life.

 

We found a support group for people like us. Luther wants me to go but it makes me sad.  I'm tired of being sad. 

 

Kara asked me what I want to do, that I can do anything. 

 

I say that all I want is to be with her, to go on adventures.  She said she thinks she can make that work. I hope so, it sounds awfully fun.

 

***

 

I'm so very tired.

 

We've gone to a lot of places, and sometimes it was hard to do things, but I like seeing pretty buildings, nature, fun things like roller coasters. 

 

Everything is harder to do.  It's harder to play, harder to talk, harder to think.

 

There is still so much I want to do, but I guess it’s time to grow up now.

 

My name is Alice, and I will be nine years old until the day I shut down.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii I'm sorry bout that y'all. I just have been thinking about how sad the concept of these like... immortal children are and i HAD TO WRITE ABOUT IT OKAY
> 
> thanks for reading!! ***kisses***


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